I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
