I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
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