I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
