Pappa wants mamma naked
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
