i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
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I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
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If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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