onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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