Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
