So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
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We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
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The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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