Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize