Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize