Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
It's shark week go big or go home
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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