Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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