the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just cut my nipple shaving
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
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