i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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