More tranny stories later!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
