i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
