Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
