haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
