bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
