He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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