My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Randomize
