I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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