Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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