Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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