I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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