Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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