You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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