I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
