six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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