You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San