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Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
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