The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
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i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
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It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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