I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..