Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.

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(781): Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit. http://tfl.nu/7wtq

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(216): View more from Ohio

Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.

(440): View more from Ohio

Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?

(216): View more from Ohio

Holy shit r u serious? How?

(440): View more from Ohio

Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.

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(216): Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks. (440): Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf? (216): Holy shit r u serious? How? (440): Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you. http://tfl.nu/xwoo

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(949): View more from California

who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool

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(949): who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool http://tfl.nu/a4ly

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(708): View more from Illinois

You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.

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(708): You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook. http://tfl.nu/mlr4

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(714): View more from California

20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"

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(714): 20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!" http://tfl.nu/w8i5

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(515): View more from Iowa

I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.

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(515): I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy. http://tfl.nu/r54x

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(760): View more from California

The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.

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(760): The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too. http://tfl.nu/fqh3

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(845): View more from New York

alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.

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(845): alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization. http://tfl.nu/1m6d

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(616): View more from Michigan

you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality

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(616): you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality http://tfl.nu/e7iy

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(703): View more from Virginia

What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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(703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece

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(270): View more from Kentucky

How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?

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(270): How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night? http://tfl.nu/sgi1

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(616): View more from Michigan

thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.

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(616): thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore. http://tfl.nu/y9tr

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(519): View more from Ontario

What color are my eyes?

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Ummmm... 34 C?

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(519): What color are my eyes? (1-519): Ummmm... 34 C? http://tfl.nu/3v5v

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(937): View more from Ohio

I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.

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(937): I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt. http://tfl.nu/gq37

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(706): View more from Georgia

The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.

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(706): The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina. http://tfl.nu/6jcd

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