we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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