This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
