Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
