perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
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