If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize