I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
