so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Randomize
