well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
