mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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