shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
