I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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