Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
