Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
