Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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