Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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