whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize