Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize