I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
third nipple confirmed
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
