this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
