oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
