feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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