I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize