pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
