so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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