My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
