I'm jealous of your bromance
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
