I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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