babies were throwing up all over the place
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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